"At Least We're Honest Now™"
These Terms of Use ("Terms") govern your use of the Department of War website ("Website"), a satirical and parody website operated for entertainment purposes only. By accessing or using this Website, you agree to be bound by these Terms. If you disagree with any part of these terms, then you may not access the Website.
This Website is a work of satire and parody. All content, including but not limited to text, images, graphics, and interactive features, is fictional and created for entertainment and commentary purposes only. This Website is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any government entity, military organization, or defense contractor.
Any "services," "products," or "offerings" described on this Website are entirely fictional and not available for actual purchase or use. Any forms or applications on the Website are for entertainment purposes only and do not constitute real government forms or applications.
Unless otherwise indicated, the Website is our proprietary property and all source code, databases, functionality, software, website designs, audio, video, text, photographs, and graphics on the Website (collectively, the "Content") are owned or controlled by us or licensed to us, and are protected by copyright and trademark laws.
Subject to your compliance with these Terms, we grant you a limited, non-exclusive, non-transferable, and revocable license to access and use the Website for your personal, non-commercial use only. You may not reproduce, distribute, modify, create derivative works of, publicly display, publicly perform, republish, download, store, or transmit any of the material on our Website without prior written consent.
By using the Website, you represent and warrant that:
You may not access or use the Website for any purpose other than that for which we make the Website available. The Website may not be used in connection with any commercial endeavors except those that are specifically endorsed or approved by us.
As a user of the Website, you agree not to:
The Website may allow you to submit comments, feedback, or other content ("User Content"). You grant us a non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable license to use, reproduce, modify, perform, display, distribute, and otherwise disclose your User Content for any purpose.
You are solely responsible for your User Content and the consequences of posting it. You represent and warrant that you own or have the necessary rights to use and authorize us to use your User Content as described in these Terms.
Your use of the Website is also governed by our Privacy Policy. Please review our Privacy Policy, which also governs the Website and informs users of our data collection practices.
THE INFORMATION ON THIS WEBSITE IS PROVIDED ON AN "AS-IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" BASIS. YOU AGREE THAT YOUR USE OF THE WEBSITE AND OUR SERVICES WILL BE AT YOUR SOLE RISK. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, WE DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, IN CONNECTION WITH THE WEBSITE AND YOUR USE THEREOF.
The Website does not provide legal, financial, military, political, or any other professional advice. All content is satirical and should not be relied upon for any decision-making purposes.
IN NO EVENT WILL WE OR OUR DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES, OR AGENTS BE LIABLE TO YOU OR ANY THIRD PARTY FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, EXEMPLARY, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, INCLUDING LOST PROFIT, LOST REVENUE, LOSS OF DATA, OR OTHER DAMAGES ARISING FROM YOUR USE OF THE WEBSITE, EVEN IF WE HAVE BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.
You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold us harmless, including our subsidiaries, affiliates, and all of our respective officers, agents, partners, and employees, from and against any loss, damage, liability, claim, or demand, including reasonable attorneys' fees and expenses, made by any third party due to or arising out of: (1) use of the Website; (2) breach of these Terms; (3) any breach of your representations and warranties; (4) your violation of the rights of a third party.
These Terms shall remain in full force and effect while you use the Website. We reserve the right, in our sole discretion and without notice or liability, to deny access to and use of the Website to any person for any reason or for no reason.
We reserve the right, in our sole discretion, to make changes or modifications to these Terms at any time and for any reason. We will alert you about any changes by updating the "Last Updated" date of these Terms, and you waive any right to receive specific notice of each such change.
These Terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the United States and the State in which the Website operator is located, without regard to its conflict of law provisions.
To expedite resolution and control the cost of any dispute, controversy, or claim related to these Terms, you and we agree to first attempt to negotiate any dispute informally for at least 30 days before initiating any legal proceeding.
If we cannot resolve a dispute through informal negotiations, any dispute arising from these Terms shall be finally resolved by binding arbitration in accordance with the rules of the American Arbitration Association.
If any provision of these Terms is held to be unenforceable or invalid, such provision will be changed and interpreted to accomplish the objectives of such provision to the greatest extent possible under applicable law and the remaining provisions will continue in full force and effect.
These Terms constitute the entire agreement between you and us regarding the use of the Website and supersede all prior and contemporaneous written or oral agreements between you and us.
If you have any questions about these Terms of Use, please contact us at: